My journey of becoming the "perfect" wife.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I'm so over being fat!

Of course hours before I post a blog about being over weight, I post a blog about new recipes. LOL. It's just that it's hard to believe that my senior year in highschool I weighed only 150lbs (150 is low for me, and I still looked pretty skinny) I have never been a twig. I have always had alot of muscle on my body and I dont want to be a twig. And I know that I'll probably never have a full six pack, but I just want to look like I did in high school. Even my boobs are getting too big. I know it's all completely nobodys fault but my own. But I still would like to blame my husband. 90 Percent of the time I cook him dinner. And he loves my cooking, and I love to cook him stuff that he loves. But it's hard when all i should be eating is chicken, brown rice and a salad, when he wants fried prokchops. I have so much potential, I just have to do it! I need to become a do'er and not a thinker! I can think all day of great healthy meals, and awesome workouts. But when it comes to it... I just dont DO. What is my problem. I know I'm over weight. My Wii Fit knows I'm over weight, My clothes that I always try to squeeze into know that I'm over weight. So why am I not doing anything about it? And I feel bad for James. He feel in love with me when I still looked good in a bikini. He says that I'm still sexy to him. But he's my husband, and that's what he's supposed to say.  He's not going to tell me, "baby, your packing on some weight." I find myself sometimes wishing I was pregnant, just so I have an excuse.. And the worst part of it is that I have a membership to a gym. A 24hour gym! So what is my problem? I go to the gym, but I dont put near enough effort into it as I should. I'm almost embarrased when I go to the gym. I feel like I dont belong. I guess I just need to suck it up, grow a pair, and do what I need to do. I have motivation now, I just need to keep up with it. I think I'm going to make every Thursday my weigh in date for this blog. I'm so embarrassed of my weight right now, so I'm trying to talk myself out of posting today's numbers in my blog where it's accessible by anyone, anywhere. But no! I will be a DO'er! It's my motivation! And proof that I can look by a year or so from now and say wow! I really weighed that much?? I'm glad I did something about that! My goal is by my anniversary date (March 5) I will be back at my highschool weight. I was told once to set a really high goal for yourself to keep motivated. I know that this will be a very hard thing for me. Especially with the holidays coming up. But I know that if I keep my self motivated, I can do it! I will be a DO'er! So I have 5 months to lose 50LBS.
Official Weigh in: Thursday Oct 6, 2011: 199lbs.
I will never again see this number! Goodbye Taco Bell! Goodbye Lazy Sundays! Good Bye Fat Jeans!
And HELLO the new and improved Kelly Jean Kennedy :)

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